spudsexuall:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

vicioussuggestion:

not to be a touch-starved Binch but boy oh boy could i use a fresh steaming cup of nonsexual physical contact right about now

dangostudy:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

honeyrenaissance:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

my mom got accepted into my college so i’m at orientation with her and she keeps having to explain that she’s the student

oh my god she has a classy leather binder for some reason??

SHE MADE A SCHEDULE IN WORD AND PRINTED IT AND DREW A MAP ON IT SO SHE WOULDN’T FORGET WHERE HER CLASSES WERE AND THEN SHE LAMINATED IT

THE ZZZS ARE TO INDICATE SHE GETS TO SLEEP IN. THERE ARE FLOCKS OF BIRDS TO INDICATE THAT SHE IS FREE AS A BIRD BECAUSE CLASSES ARE OVER. SHE DREW BUTTERFLIES IN HER COMPUTER MONITOR ICONS????

SHE MADE CUSTOM DIVIDERS OUT OF SCRAPBOOK PAPER, ALSO LAMINATED

she had her first quiz today and these were her notes

I showed her all the nice supportive comments you’ve all been leaving and she’s baffled but grateful

You can do it mama bear! Keep doing what you’re doing <3 <3 <3 

if u reblog this in ten seconds, stylish organization skills and educational motivation will come to you, but only if you post “study hard, mom” in this thread.

STUDY HARD MOM